Mother’s name was Charlotte. I started this blog in 2010 so I could possibly helps others see what our journey was like and how I could help others. I maybe got 3 or 4 posts in 7 months. I just couldn’t find the time to update and didn’t really know how to put into words what we were going through. I say we, because it wasn’t just my journey and my experiences, it was hers as well. So, I deleted the posts I had made, 1 because they were mostly unfinished and didn’t make a whole lot of sense and two things were happening too fast for me to tend to everyone and everything. I guess I could back track a bit and let you know, Alzheimer’s is no picnic, not for the caregivers and not for the person themselves. I could see how frustrated she was most of the time, not only with me, but herself as well. How must it feel, to not be able to remember someone’s name, and a few months later, not remember that you knew that person at all? How about forgetting to turn off the oven, or forget where you put that book? Sure, that happens to me all the time. But what if left to run to the store for something and left the water running in the bathtub?
Alzheimer’s isn’t obvious at first. All behaviours can be felt by some of us at times. But putting ketchup in the freezer, or unable to brown ground beef for sloppy joes? Mom wanted to make sloppy joes for lunch one day. She knew my brother loved them and was going to make that for his dinner. She called me to ask me how to make them so I talked her through it over the phone. The next day, brother told me he couldn’t eat it, it wasn’t done and smelled funny. Looking in the trash, the date on the meat wrapping was a month old. Just a few months before, she had made them perfectly for him.
She was my mother, I lost her New Years Day. I know she’s happy right now and that is the one thing that keeps me from being so sad. I hated seeing her so lost, and small. Full of life and fun, she was a go getter. For the past 3-4 years, I saw a change, other relatives saw a change. She went from being an extremely energetic spirit with love of excitement, to a homebody and disengaged. No longer wanting to work in the yard, keeping the blinds closed and watched TV all day and night. She just seemed to shut the world out most of the times. She still tried to interact with the world, but it was becoming harder and harder to hide the problems with herself from others. I wish I had seen it coming sooner. I’m tired of writing right now. I try again later. Kiss your mother if she is still with you. Blow her a kiss to Heaven if she’s gone on.
